tired

I am stuck in a rut. Thighs sweating, glued to plastic chair, the painful feeling of the peeling off of a bandaid. Eyebrows arched, head hanged forward, rubbing at temples, hands sweating every time they touch something. Fingers stretched. Wide.
Heart racing, head in hands, eyes fluttering, heavy, almost shut. I want to fall asleep, twisting neck back and forth, wringing out wrists, wringing out thoughts of you. Where is the rain when I need it most? To wash you right out of my hair. Look out the window. Musk. Heavy air, hot and heavy air pressing down on me, on my shoulders. Hunched.
Inside is a hurricane. I swallow. Eyes shut tight, eyes opened quickly, nothing. Try again: eyes shut tight, eyes opened quickly, nothing. Nothing, nothing nothing. stomach churning arms aching i can feel my heart beating up against my body trying to break free. drumming fingers along the keys, letting out a sigh. i need fresh air, i need to get outside i need less punctuation and less worries and less thoughts. i feel my feet rooted into my socks into my shoes into the carpet beneath my feet aching my whole body aches from being so deeply rooted in you
i miss you i miss you i miss you
why didn't you pick up the phone last night
There's an empty space where you once were.