Currently listening to: One Foot - fun.
I always feel so exhilarated when I’m on the airplane to
Denver. My heart thumps in my chest along with the rhythm of my music and I
close my eyes and smile.
Euphoria.
I take a deep breath and can feel in cascade through my
body, a breath of fresh air, my blood happily running through my veins.
--
I’ve heard people make this observation a thousand times,
but I feel the need to repeat it. That day-to-day we hardly notice a difference
in our lives, but when we look back everything has changed. In some ways, this
phenomenon can make it hard to see the affect we’ve had. I know I’m always
trying to change my life, but sometimes I’m unable to see where my efforts are
getting me. On the airplane, however, I realized something and I cannot help
that it’s made me beam. I used to have the terrible habit of biting and picking
my nails... The extent of which I did this was absolutely insane. My nails used
to be painfully short, shorter than my fingers, and it was hideous. I was
always so ashamed of my habit. I mean, it’s just plain gross. It’s a disgusting
habit. But here I am, on the airplane, with beautifully long, healthy nails. It
took me years to stop the bad habit. I started when I was very young because I
saw my uncle doing it. I probably attacked my nails like that for at least 10
years. Holy shit. Yet now I can look down and smile. I worked so hard to stop,
I relapsed multiple times and gave in and picked them and sometimes I still get
the urge. But even so, I really feel like I can do it now. Hell, I know I can.
I can overcome my worst habits.
Knowing this makes me feel... Sort of vindicated. I feel
sort of liberated and free from my bad habits. I have this other bad habit that
I’m always trying to stop. I have a few: biting my lip, touching my face, etc.
I have always felt a little hopeless in my many endeavors to stop my bad
habits. It’s only now that I realize I’m so capable of doing anything I set my
heart to. I stopped biting my nails, it’s like I’m superwoman now! I can do
anything! I believe in myself!
--
Today is a good day, a positive day, and I’m headed to the
beautiful Boulder, Colorado. By the time I post this, I will most likely be in
Colorado. Breathing in that fresh Colorado air and feeling that same energy
within my soul. I’m going to college. I’m moving forward in my life. I’m going
to do big things. I’m going to do so many big things.
Bisous!
xo, Foxy
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