She lay in an over abundance of blankets, a tiny, warm center of her universe, the nucleus of her thoughts and dreams, this was what she had burrowed herself into. Rich purples and pinks, soft comforters and scattered pillows, she sunk so deeply into the bed she almost disappeared. But he did not disappear, no. He giggled in the back of her head and stayed imprinted on her heart. He was the peanut butter she kept tonguing, stuck at the roof of her mouth. He was the feeling that reached all the way to the tips of her body, the tingling she got in her elbows. He was the way the waves can never leave the sand, he pulled her strings the way the moon makes music with the sea. He had a specific smile and a way with words, the image of him with his glasses on would cause her head to wander off in a daze. He was the constant reason for her biting her bottom lip and clenching her muscles. All he has to do is ask and she will fling herself into his arms.
There was one night she forced her banner into the relentless earth and took a stand. She said "no... another time," pretending it was due to self respect, she hid the fact that she really just felt ugly and worthless. In that moment she knew what she was worth and it wasn't his time. To him, she was nothing more than a body to caress and a soul to entice. His gentle kisses were laced with something sickly, and the words that he whispered were always too sweet, syruped. She wanted to be worth more so she turned him down. Maybe if she did, maybe if she took control and made it clear she didn't want the moments they stole from the moon to be meaningless, maybe then he'd want her as more than just a body. Maybe then he'd want her as she wanted him. So that one night, she decided to postpone even the littlest kiss. (God, she missed the way he'd smirk when they pulled apart to take a breath and stare off into each others' eyes. He always knew what she was thinking, often before she even did.)

She never stopped regretting saying no to the boy she may have...