Fuck me.

I'm sad. And disappointed. Upset? Yes. Maybe it's that all of break I've been putting this effort in to see you and I often wondered if I was trying harder than you. Yes. Yes, of course. But at this point I can't even be upset with you. I want you to be happy and I couldn't care less about me. And I really, truly get it. I honestly don't think I deserve it either. I really cannot fathom why anyone would do anything for me and I don't want you doing anything for me. I really am not worth it. It's probably best that you realize that sooner rather than later and focus on making you happy because that's what matters. Life goes on and I'll manage and


And I just I dunno maybe I really thought you cared and this just fucking sucks. Maybe I finally felt special and now I'm realizing that it was... All an illusion. And it's a shitstorm here. I hate it here. I hate it so much. Coming home to you was one of the few things I was looking forward to and now what? Now what!? Now I'm meaningless. Insignificant. I'm a ghost in this waking world and I want nothing more than to slip beneath the floor.